Unwavering Love and the Unknown
by LeLa London
Summary: --"I want to get married, now," Peyton stated. "Absolutely not," Lucas replied. A two part work.
1. Choosing Love

A/N: Alternate title for chapter 1: Choosing Love

**Unwavering Love and the Unknown**

I have broken down many times before, but

Somehow this time feels worse than the past.

Unspoken droplets of sorrow have made their way below my small face.

My eyes are shut.

I'm feeling grief.

This could be the end.

And everyday might be closer to my last,

Death represents many meanings,

Brings fear, regret, and prepared acceptance in its wake.

Oh, baby, please try harder to understand what I want, what I need.

Marrying you has been our dream since we swore there would never be anyone but us.

I know you're afraid and lashing out to conceal your pain.

You're in denial at the implications,

And do not even want to think about my death, of things going wrong.

But if I die, I want to have the title of Peyton Scott before I go.

Just be here with me, support like you always have.

True Love Always.

That's what we're supposed to have.

We're going to make it,

And if we're not, I'd like to think we would be together again someday.

I want that with all my heart.

A/N: I have many notes and the transition of different feelings about this poem. Tell me what you think. This is how the original poem went. I'm honestly debating on making some changes on the ending, taking a few words out here and there and replacing it with new, better lines. Definitely used some past Peyton lines, and LP references in this one. I'm sure it shows. I made the whole piece informal with contractions because I know everyday people and Peyton uses them frequently. I can imagine Hilarie Burton as Peyton saying and thinking of this so here's the (hopefully) final product. Don't be surprised if I edit like crazy. I tend to catch mistakes I haven't caught before. Enjoy!


	2. Encompassing Love and Fear

A/N: Part 2 of ULatU. Originally it was supposed to be a stand alone poem, but I decided to expand on the theme.

_italics_= new stanza

**Encompassing Love and Fear  
**

_I_ see you sitting there in the nursery and I begin to lose it.

"Peyton, what is this?" I ask. I already knew, but disbelief had to make sure.

"I just thought I should." She looked worn and resigned.

Making a tape to our child, what was she thinking?

She carried herself like she was going to die,

And I won't accept that.

I refuse to let her.

She was the one who reassured me in the first place.

"No, no, you said everything was going to be okay. You said—"

"I'm making it just in case."

Peyt, you had no idea the effect those words had on me.

With that sentence,

My world began to destruct around us,

And I felt completely helpless,

With nothing substantial to cling on to.

Who I needed was you, what I needed was your optimism,

Don't give up.

I can't have you giving up and lamenting the end.

Because that tape symbolizes the sealed fate has planned for us.

There won't be an end.

This end is your death and I don't know what to do with myself if that happens.

Your death would break me.

How would I continue living my life after this tragedy?

_I've_ been keeping busy fixing the Comet in order to deal with this.

I know I'm being hostile to you, but you're terrifying me.

I'm curt when I masking tantalizing fear.

I can't stand this constant thought that resides in my mind:

When I'm around you my heart aches enough to

Let me know you could be gone.

Moments become precious.

I have to touch you to know that you're alive and breathing,

Only this time I don't because I'm conflicted with misplaced anger,

Does fate have to be so cruel?

_There_ are times when briefly, I feel like you're with me, here, now,

Where relief elevates my entire body,

And I forget that my family could be stripped away from me,

Everything's the way it should be,

_And_ then I remember it's not okay.

Please, stop acting like this.

It's you, Peyton,

The one I want standing next to me,

The one I want where all my dreams come true,

It's you.

Our dreams can't come true if you're not here.

I'm asking destiny to not take you away from me.

I'll never ask for anything else if the universe grants me this one hope.

Please.

A/N: Dedicated to Leytonalways. I hope you liked it. I tried, but I don't know if I succeeded or not. I think the poem's ok: very simple, upfront, and informal, but in character? You should tell me how you think I did.


End file.
